Jeeb's Place

TW FOR SH, DEATH, SUICIDAL IDEATION, ETC IN THE BLOG BELOW.

Dear Diary {7/18/2026}:

Life is precious. Days will come where you feel like its hopeless. Like everything you've ever known and cared for will come down in shambles if one wrong thing happens. But I've moved past worse days than this. Everyone has, diary. And despite those bad days, its important to remind yourself that its not hopeless. In life you may have to make tough decisions. However, the fact of the matter is, your life is not ruined by one bad decision or the events resulted in that decision. Your feelings matter just as much as the next person. You matter.

Signed yours truly, Mikey

Dear Diary {7/14/2026}:

I apologize for the pause on my diary. For those who it may concern, life has been moving extremely fast for me. There has been a lot of bad in the past couple weeks, but for the most part, its been good. I'm going back to college and moving in with a friend of mine at the end of the week. Packing my entire life into boxes so that I may have the chance to bloom into a better version of myself has been so liberating. While, the circumstances in which have caused me to have to move out of my childhood home were not the best, I've been taking it pretty well. I've been waiting for an opportunity to be free, and I personally believe this will help me become the person I want to be. Aside from moving, I've been feeling a lot more creative as of recent. My friends and I started a new band, which I have already participated in making two songs for and it genuinely has been some of the most fun I've had lyrically. It's been extremely awesome being able to express myself in ways I thought were hard before. The message of todays diary, is to take the leap. You only live once, and your life is valuable. Don't just endure your life, live it.

Dear Diary {6/27/2026}:

Having a good day after one of the worst days of your life is so rewarding. Despite all the bad that bundled up in my brain the day before, I was still able to have a good day today. Sometimes, good days dont have to be spent at an event or a party or a show. Sometimes, you dont even have to leave the house to have a good day. Sometimes, spending time with your friends on a discord call is enough. What I learned today, diary, was that surrounding yourself with your loved ones is enough. I've been spending a lot of time to myself and wondering how I can have more good days. Changing the way I think about the day by the end of it has helped more than I ever expected it to. Finally being able to look at the glass half full, instead of half empty, has been the most liberating feeling in the world. If there are others reading this, I want you to know that despite all the bad, your life is extremely valuable. No matter how grim it gets, you will find the people who love you. Cha-ching.

Dear Diary {6/24/2026}:

In life, there will be people who you end up not being compatible with. Despite all your efforts in attempting to be their friend, they dont seem to care as much as you thought they did. For most of my life I've struggled with confronting people and asking them to be better friends. But life is so much better surrounding yourself with good people who like you for who you are. Not ones who barely put any effort into your relationship. Ive been having to practice confrontation recently. And while it's scary, while sometimes people dont respond to your pleas, there are those who will come to you in time. If you're patient, you will find those who you are important to and they will treat you with the same respect you treat them with. My current friend group is the best one I've ever had because we actually communicate with each other and treat one another with respect. I dont feel as insecure as I once did. Of course I have my moments, after years of being treated with disrespect and being belittled. But if you told me even just a year ago that I would have a genuine outlet, I would not have believed you. I never thought I was deserving of good friends until I finally met them. Despite all the bad, I must be good.

Dear Diary {6/20/2026}:

Sometimes you have really really good days. Days that at the end of them you actually feel happy for once. Today I went to an awesome ass show with my two best friends and met some wonderful new friends. I moshed my little heart out and really enjoyed the music. Despite my legs hurting at the end of it, I couldnt stop dancing and having fun. I ate a good ass meal (shoutout cookout). And when I got home I smoked a ton of weed and pet my adorable cat. Then I called my beautiful and amazing girlfriend and it just made me so emotional that I am the luckiest little critter in the whole world. I get to have fun with my friends and I have the most amazing and adorable girlfriend and that is what made me cry actual tears. Despite all the bad days I've had in the past couple months, I was able to finally have a wonderful day. I felt nothing but happiness the entire day and I feel fucking amazing. I love all of my friends so fucking much and Im so happy that I get to live my life with them by my side.

Dedicated to: Pawzie, Mel, Sam, and Aaliyah.

Dear Diary {6/15/2026}:

Self harm is something I have always struggled with. Even if I wasn't actually hurting myself, the ideation always stuck. It's difficult to break out of a habit after having that habit in your life for as long as you can remember. But today, when I picked up my blade, fully expecting to hurt myself again, I told myself no. For the first time since I've started self harming, I was able to stop myself mid process and for a lot of people, I feel, it's just as difficult. It's why alcoholics go to rehab and suicide risks go to institutions. There are plenty of real life outlets for people to get help with their addictions. But I never had that option. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter how deep into these tendencies you are, it's important to stop while you can. Not everyone has the luxury of receiving help and it's why a lot of people with these types of psychological issues inevitably die. It's why I have almost died. But for the first time today, I chose myself over my habits. And for that I'm thankful.

Dear Diary {6/14/2026}:

Hey diary! I know I havent written in awhile. I apologize for my well overdo checkup. But if I'm being honest, things have been pretty draining for me recently. I dont really recall most of whats happened these past few months, in which order they've happened, the way that they've happened, how they unfolded, or even if they were actually lived. But in between those moments I have had a huge amount of shitty days. Days that made me want to resort to hurting myself. Ones that left me thinking about them weeks after, to the point of depriving myself of sleep because of what I'm afraid of. Even days in which I'd rather not be alive. If I'm being honest, I'm notorious for taking shitty days to heart. But the fact of the matter is, things will get better. They may seem grim 90% of the time; like I cant pull myself back up. And I may struggle with picking back up old, awful habits. I may struggle with my self esteem, my psyche, my own image, and the thought of how people perceive me. I may struggle to see how I could ever possibly be loved. Sometimes I might even have to do things for myself I never wanted to do in order to stay alive. But what I've learned today is, not every day is a bad day. And even if something bad happens in a day, that does not automatically rule it as a bad day. You can have horrible thoughts after a fun day out, but at the end of the day: The day was still good. Not every day is a bad day, diary. And I think I can live comfortably with this thought now.

Dear Diary {2/20/26}:

Hey diary! This is my first ever entry!! I'm really excited for this new beginning of me inside the indie web. I made this neocities in hopes that I would learn more html and so far that's been a better experience than when I made my first website, pegasistercity. I find it most hard to remember what I'm supposed to do and then end up just looking it up. Templates defintely help, as I'm using a template for most of the websites that I've made so far, but I've rewritten them in many different ways to the point that I feel confident I could write a website without one. When I have more experience I'll update this neocities in a new way! As for now, look forward to what the future holds for schizogeniic's neocities.